


Standing In The Dust

by nohumanbondthatcompares



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Jalec Secret Santa 2019, M/M, POV Alec Lightwood, Past Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-18 07:17:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21940330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nohumanbondthatcompares/pseuds/nohumanbondthatcompares
Summary: "I would have done the same thing."(S3A AU) Alec brought Jace back with the angel's wish but things go very bad for Jace. Alec tries to fix it the only way he can.
Relationships: Alec Lightwood/Jace Wayland
Kudos: 9
Collections: Jalec Secret Santa 2019





	Standing In The Dust

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rebelqueenss](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=rebelqueenss).



> For @rebelqueenss
> 
> This is my first time writing a fanfic in a long time and my first time writing for Alec. I do hope you enjoy it.  
> It's not done yet but I'm mostly done writing it out so expect updates soon.
> 
> I'm not sure how far into the show are you in so I've tried to put in as much information as I could.

Alec ran his stele across the arrow in his hand, double checking his work before setting it down for the next. Each arrow lay heavy in his hand. The reason for it had nothing to do with the weight of the arrow itself but for what he needed the arrows for in the first place: to kill the owl.

It was possibly the hardest decision that he has ever made in his life. He had to remind himself that this was what Jace wanted. What he had begged for and Alec was not going to let anyone else do it. He had to kill the owl even if it meant losing his parabatai forever. It was only fair. It was, after all, his burden to bear. He was the reason this happened to Jace. It was his mistake to rectify. To think, it was one of the easiest decisions that had brought him to this point.

* * *

_Alec thought he knew what to expect after having felt the pain of half his soul being ripped away from him. He thought he was prepared for the sight that was in front of him when he reached Lake Lyn. He thought wrong. Nothing could prepare him for the sight of Jace’s lifeless body. His bow slipped from his hand landing with a soft thud on the ground. For years it had stood between Jace and certain death, releasing the arrow that stopped any enemy from taking his parabatai away from him. It was useless now. There was no enemy to kill. Valentine was dead. He supposed Clary was the one to kill him. None of that mattered to him now. He fell to his knees next to Jace._

_”Jace…”_

_Tears well up in his eyes and usually steady hand shake a little as he reached out to touch his parabatai’s cheek. It was cold to the touch. The clear night clearly took a toll on the motionless body. It felt wrong. All of it felt wrong. He should have been here to protect Jace. That was his one job. Protect Jace, have his back always. That’s what parabatai were for. He was just too busy running away from his feelings that he didn’t even think twice before letting Jace go after Valentine with Clary of all people. She was still a newbie. Barely a Shadowhunter. She was hardly qualified to keep Jace safe._

_He leaned down, bringing their foreheads together. “I’m so sorry.” Almost instinctively, he pushed the feeling of regret towards the bond. It was what they did. The allowed each other to open up about how they felt through their bond. They’ve sent regret, joy, pride, relief, sometimes even anger – anything to express what they were feeling when words failed them. Except this time there was nowhere to push towards. There was no bond connecting them. Jace died and all that was left behind was a vast hole that can never be filled._

“If you have a wish, speak now.”

_A booming voice spoke above him. It was the first thing he has heard since laying his eyes on Jace. The dark-haired man raised his head to see the angel Raziel, glowing in all his heavenly glory. Summoned but not yet compelled to a wish. Alec looked down at Jace, laying still next to him. Lifeless. This was not the Jace he knew. He was larger than life himself. Loud and chaotic but also kind and caring. That’s what made Alec fall for him in the first place._

_He told Izzy once that he couldn’t live without Jace and that hasn’t changed. In that moment he knew that there was one of two ways this would end today. He had to try. “One wish? Any wish?”_

“That is correct. Alexander Lightwood. One wish granted to thou who spills thy blood.”

_It wasn’t even a choice in Alec’s mind. Not really. He pulled his hand away from Jace and unsheathed his dagger, running it across his hand. If there was any protest, Alec couldn’t hear them. Right now the only ones he saw were Jace and the being that could bring Jace back. He got to his feet. Blood dripped to the ground as he squeezed his hand, making sure there was no doubt that he had spilled his blood. He looked up at the angel above him. “Bring Jace back. Bring him back to me.”_

_The glow around Raziel grew brighter making it almost unbearable to see and then he disappeared. Alec didn’t understand. He asked for the wish and Raziel had just left. Did he screw up somehow? Did he lose his one chance of bringing Jace back?_

_The answer came to him moments later. A burning sensation on the lower left side of his body. It was almost as if he was getting marked with a rune. It was followed by a faint glow inside of him. The emptiness that seemed to have consumed him filled up again with a familiar presence. He turned and looked down to where Jace was laying. Mismatched eyes once again open. They landed on him. “Alec?” Jace sounded confused. Alec knew there were a lot of questions coming and a lot more decisions to be made. But right now the only thing that mattered was that Jace was alive._

_Alec could finally breathe again._

* * *

Alec wondered if he would have made the same decision if he knew the torture he was about to put Jace through. Lilith, the nightmares, the owl, all those deaths. His one wish had made Jace vulnerable to all of it. It was breaking Jace that he had no way to stop any of it. With every other option failing, Alec knew that he had to step up. He had to end this the way it began – with Jace dead.

His thoughts were interrupted with the ring of his phone. Alec put down the arrow in his hand and fished his phone out of his pocket. The screen showed that it was his mother. She and Luke were out looking for Clary. Finding her meant finding Lilith and the owl. If they were lucky, they could end it all tonight.

Jace could be free.


End file.
